I was changing and it wasn’t good, so much so that my addiction broke me and my girlfriend up at the time. She just couldn’t be the fantasy that I wanted so badly, so I decided to move on and try and find that girl that could provide that. So I would spend hours isolated with me and my computer filling myself up with images that would create an unrealistic understanding of woman. My ideas on intimacy was being destroyed and woman were becoming nothing more then a piece of flesh that were here on earth for me to look at.
I knew deep down it was wrong, but I really didn’t care.. I was a slave to pornography and was happy with my secret life. Days turned to years and everyday my journey was to find the next best thing. To try and find something that would satisfy this fantasy world I had created. More and more images, but nothing!
I couldn’t find it, it brought more emptiness than ever! That was when Jesus started to whisper in my ear.. “Are you done trying to live in this fake world of fantasy that you created?” At that point I surrendered everything to Him and said, ” I am ready.” I was ready to begin the process of cleansing and giving it all up. That life lead me to a wasted life and it became a disgusting taste in my mouth. I had to get help though and stay accountable, to be pushed, prayed for and allow God to do a work in my life. There were patterns in my life that I had to recreate, but that became easier when Christ was the center.
Through all this, I thought I was the only one who dealt with this, but after sharing my testimony to the group I had people come up to me and say they had been struggling with pornography also. And to my surprise it wasn’t just guys, there were girls too!! I was speechless because I thought this was just a guy issue! The stats are mind boggling with how many people actually are addicted to Porn, they say its the 21st century drug!
I have learned so much through this experience and want to share a few things with you about what porn does and how it effects your life.
1) Pornography objectifies people – When you look at pornography it takes out all humanity and causes us to see these acts as a way to fulfill our sexual desires. Who they are, what they do, their lives, background, or any other information is stripped from the scene and is focused on watching bodies play out sexual scenes. As you engage in this fantasy, we often carry that same mindset into reality. How we look at people becomes nothing more then lustful thoughts in which we want to take them into our fantasy world and make them part of that sexual desire.
2) Pornography Destroys Intimacy – We are a people that needs human intimacy. Not just sexual intimacy but this connection of human kind choosing to love one another and care for one another. That is all taken away because when people are nothing but a body, who they are disappears and becomes irrelevant.
3) Pornography keeps you captive to Fantasy – When you first get started looking at pornography, there is a temptation to keep going. One image leads to another, which can lead to countless hours of your imagination going places it has never gone before. There is really no end nowadays to what you can see on the internet. So what can start off as soft porn can end in some of the most unthinkable images ever made. Things you didn’t know even existed. And it doesn’t stop there, when you get online next time, it only begins there, as you continue to try and entertain more thoughts. It has you captive and when you allow your imagination to run wild, it is scary to think what people can do with their bodies.
4) Pornography pushes your limits on right and wrong – Over the years you can see how far we have come, with what society says is modest and how much of the body can be shown in public. When you get started, your conscience is strong and you know that you shouldn’t be looking at those sights. The more you look at Porn, you begin to sear your conscience and stop listening to it. That numbness allows you to go further into doing wrong and what is right becomes less of an issue. So as time goes on, the line between right and wrong becomes blurred.
5) Pornography takes away time and social life – When you know you shouldn’t be doing something and do it anyway, there is a sense of shame that causes you to do things in secret. If anybody finds out about your secret life, you will become extremely embarrassed. So when anybody talks about it, you joke and try to avoid being found out. The next thing is you start to pull away from your friends also to avoid the humiliation. Instead of going out with you friends and enjoying their friendship, you would rather stay home and fill yourself with images and self gratification. Before you know it, you look back at your life and realize how much of it was wasted trying to feed into your fantasy world.
6) Pornography taints real life expectations – Real people are imperfect, make mistakes, have blemishes, and sometimes hard to live with. When you live in this fantasy world you don’t ever have to deal with those imperfections. They can’t compete with your fantasy world because they are unrealistic. So relationships become extremely challenged because your expectations are impossible and that causes disappointments. It is dangerous to expect somebody to try and be that perfect person that you created in your head. That will only cause expectations on that person which they will never be able to satisfy, telling them they are not worthy as the person they have been created to be..
7) Pornography is another form of Adultery – Some think of adultery as being the act of sleeping with another person when you are in a committed marriage. Jesus tells us that adultery is the same thing as looking at a person with lust. So every time we look at somebody else in lust, we are actually committing adultery. Why? If that person is not our spouse, then they belong to somebody else. So looking at them outside of anything pure is us committing adultery in our hearts.
There is so much to stay about this subject, and these 7 points are just the surface of why we shouldn’t engage in pornography. There is nothing good that comes out of it, and remember that it doesn’t effect just you, but others around you. But there is hope!
If you struggle with this, you are not alone! There are millions out there that are captivated by pornography and know it’s wrong but just don’t know where to turn. If that is you, and you are extremely ashamed of it and need help, feel free to PM me and I can pray with you and help guide you to freedom. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, go to the website : www.settingcaptivesfree.com and start their course on addictions and Pornography. It really will make an impact on your fight for freedom of porn and change your entire life. But you have to take the first step!
Travis Silva became a disciple of Jesus Christ in 2001 where his life began to radically change. After going to Bible College at Vanguard University in Southern California he was called to give up everything and go into the mission field and now lives in Auckland, New Zealand. Please checkout his blog for more encouraging stories: www.forgivenphotography.com/iamforgiven |