- Fight lustful images with the knowledge of God’s written Word. Images are unbelievably powerful, but God has made the universe through his word and the explosive power of his word trumps the alluring power of an image. God didn’t give us a picture-Bible, but revealed himself through words and sentences to be read and heard. The longest chapter in the Bible shows that the way a young man keeps his way pure is through knowing God’s word (Ps. 119:9, 11). Therefore the firecracker of pornographic images is no match for the napalm of God’s spoken and written word.
- Realize that viewing porn unleashes insatiable craving but kills genuine satisfaction. Leering at naked women online incites yearnings for more and more naked women, yet never gives ultimate satisfaction. On the other hand, the body of one’s wife is a garden of pleasures that leads to holy satisfaction. The book of Proverbs gives the wisdom of a father to son: “Let [your wife’s] breasts satisfy you at all times”(5:18, 19). The body and breasts of your wife contain an intoxicating influence that no other body and breasts can bring. If you don’t think they are satisfying or intoxicating, the problem isn’t her, but the fact that you settle for inferior and ultimately unsatisfying cravings. Why settle for cheap wine when your wife is a fine vintage.
- Treat all women who are not your wife like sisters and mothers (1 Ti. 5:2).Look into the eyes of your mom or sister and recognize that the centerfold you gazed at last night probably has a heartbroken family member that loves her. Unless a further sexual deviancy has developed within you, the thought of your daughter or mother being a centerfold should appall you and jolt you out of the objectification of women and back into the reality of treating all women as created in the image of God.
- Sever the sources of temptation to view porn. When discussing the adulterous sin of lust, Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (Mt. 5:29). In doing so he prescribes a radical violence toward that which leads you to sin. Jesus knew that amputating your hand doesn’t kill lustful desire, after all he said sin starts in the heart (Mt. 15:19), but his call does mean that you need to get drastic on non-sins that may lead to sin. For some of you this will mean disconnecting the Internet for a period of time or only accessing it in public places, for others this may mean an extended media fast of all kinds. You fill-in-the-blank. Remember, though legalism is never a means to sanctification, the call to holiness and following Jesus demands radical steps.
- Think about the eternal result of lust. As Jesus’ words indicated above, at on one level, his answer to how to fight lust is: fight it or risk going to hell. God’s wrath is coming for all kinds of sin and one of them is sexual sin (Col 3:5-6). Therefore since purity is of eternal importance, don’t give up in the fight for it. This is only one of the ways to fight this particular sin, but it is not the most significant way. The primary way to repent is through seeing God’s magnificent kindness and undeserved grace in Jesus (Ro. 2:4), but this does not mean we that we ignore the other biblical incentives of repentance in light of God’s future terrible wrath. Grace is the best motivator, but it is not the only one.
- Enjoy the pleasures of purity more than the pleasures of porn.Eighteenth-century preacher Thomas Chalmers, in his classic sermon “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection”, demonstrated how the greatest power in killing a sinful desire is not just by harping on the sinful desire but on replacing it with a new and greater holy desire. The promise of experiencing sinful lustful pleasures at almost any moment via your Internet connection is hard to argue with, unless you replace it with a superior pleasure, then it becomes easy. Jesus said it is the pure in heart that will see God (Mt. 5:8), and the Psalmist tells us that in the presence of God are infinite pleasures (Ps. 16:11). In view of this reality, the desire to see God who gives eternal pleasure far outweighs temporal lustful desire. It’s insane to settle for a mud puddle of pleasure when you have an ocean of pleasure awaiting you in the presence of the Triune God.
- Avoid accountability groups and link up with believers radically focused on encouraging one another in the Gospel of grace. Accountability groups kill, but gospel-driven community gives life. Well, maybe this is a bit of an overstatement against accountability groups, but the point is that often accountability groups turn into focusing on sin rather than experiencing the gospel of grace. Men’s groups I’ve been apart of in the past tend to focus more on the experiences of failure the week before not the event of God’s grace in the death and resurrection of Christ 2,000 years ago. Don’t get me wrong, Christian relationships should engage in confession of sin (Ja. 5:16), but they are also meant for encouragement in grace. The author of the Hebrews reveals that the key to not being hardened to the deceitfulness of sin is daily encouragement not an excessive concentration on sin (Heb. 3:13). The use of accountability software between brothers to keep one away from online pornography is helpful, but grace-oriented encouragement between brothers is best.
- Stare at Jesus not at porn. Trying harder and harder to stop looking at porn isn’t the way to stop looking at porn; you must look somewhere else, namely, the person of Jesus Christ. Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:18 writes, “And we all with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” True inward change comes from beholding Jesus not from not looking at porn. As it has been said, what you behold you become, or as biblical theologian Greg Beale puts it, you become what you worship. Look at porn and become a person controlled by lust and idolatry or look at Jesus and become a glorious and whole human being that reflects the beauty and glory of God.
- Fight as a son of God who has been freed to walk in purity. As a Christian the key to fighting lustful temptation (and any temptation for that matter) is by knowing who you are not by evaluating what you have done. Becoming a son of God is not dependent upon your not looking at porn, but upon being united to Jesus by faith and the result of the Spirit of God’s work in your heart (Ro. 8:3-4, 14). No longer are you defined by your entanglements with porn, but by your connection to the person and work Jesus. Jesus was crucified for your lust, and he has made you objectively pure in him. Therefore you can work from a place of purity as covered in the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Cor. 5:21), not toward a place of purity to earn righteousness. Kill the urge to view porn because you are a son of God who is dead to sin and free to walk in purity (Ro. 6:1-14). Pornography is no longer your master—God is your father who radically loves you (1 Jn. 3:1) and Jesus is your sin-bearer who is not ashamed to call you, with all your inordinate lusts, “brother” (Heb 2:11). So, fight the temptation of pornography, to paraphrase John Piper, as a victor not a victim.
My earlier post “7 Negative Effects of Porn” concentrated on the harmful psychological and sociological effects of pornography, and this post will focus on a biblical and grace-centered way to resist the temptation to view porn. Primarily this post is aimed at men, but I hope that there is some help here for the growing number of women who are addicted to porn and I hope that more Christian women will write on this hidden issue. B.J. Stockman lives on the redwood coast of California with his beautiful wife Kate, daughter Grace, and son Adoniram. He has a passion for leading people deeper into the gospel of grace in Jesus and the glory of God. He graduated from Bethany University with a B.A. in Biblical & Theological Studies, has studied at Fuller Theological Seminary, serves pastors around the nation through Docent Research Group, and has a real day job too. Visit his blog here.
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As another Halloween season approaches, we will see people celebrating by passing out candy and knocking on doors dressed as their favorite TV characters, but mostly we will see decorations glamorizing the dead. Women will dress as seductive "she-devils" and men will dress as vampires and other ghoulish characters. On our televisions there will be marathons of movie favorites that will be sure to scare us such as Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. This brings me to the fictional character, Freddy Krueger, who killed his victims through the power of fear. He fed on the fear of those he haunted, visiting them in their dreams and killing them; eventually killing them in reality. In the movie "Freddy Vs. Jason," Krueger used the killing machine to bring fear into the town that had long forgot about him, rendering him ineffective. Without fear, he was powerless. The townspeople devised a plan to forget Freddy and it seemed to work until his name was mentioned again. His name wasn't to be uttered and those who were tormented by him were in nursing homes taking meds to suppress their dreams. They tried to overcome their fears by burying them instead of facing them. Fear is what kept them silent and fear is what gave Freddy the authority to terrorize their lives. Satan too, uses these tactics to render Believers ineffective. For example, those who may struggle with porn addiction and masturbation, he will use fear of what others may think or say about you to keep you in bondage. As long as one remains fearful, they will remain under the power of the enemy. Sin thrives in darkness but when it is brought to the Light, there is freedom, liberty and hope. One of the greatest fears I've had throughout my life is the fear of death. Recently, one of our followers shared with us their fear of death and this is what really prompted me to open up about my struggle with this. Ever since I was a young boy, I would ponder on the ways I would die and they were always violent deaths; whether it be strangulation, stabbing or being shot—fear of death was prevalent in my life since I was young. I cried at the thought of my mother passing away, I would go to her room just to give her a hug and tell her how I didn't want her to die. I knew nothing about an afterlife, all I knew was here and now. As I grew older, I began to grow in the knowledge of God, salvation and life after death but since I wasn't saved, I was always faced with the reality that if I died apart from Christ I would go to hell. In 2010, Jesus saved my life. I felt a relief because I knew I crossed from death to life but I still had an overall of dying because I hadn't yet grown in who Jesus is and what exactly He has done for His people. If anyone desires to grow in Christ, they must abide in Christ. As we grow in Christ, we must expect the attacks of the enemy. Out of all our weapons of warfare, one of my favorites has grown to be the "shield of faith," wherewith you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." (Ephesians 6:16) This tells us that we have a foe that attacks us with fears, doubts and anxieties and the only way we can extinguish his lies is with the truth of God's Word. Here are some verses that I meditate on and I believe they will bless you as well: Since, therefore, [these His] children share in flesh and blood [in the physical nature of human beings], He [Himself] in a similar manner partook of the same [nature], that by [going through] death He might bring to nought and make of no effect him who had the power of death–that is, the devil– And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [haunting] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives. (Hebrews 2:14-15 AMP) You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. (Psalm 91:3, 5-7 ESV) For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. (I John 3:8 NKJV) What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?] [Ps. 118:6.] He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?] Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us? Who shall ever separate us from Christ's love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword? Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-35, 37-39 AMP) -1 Corinthians 15:54-58 (read the whole chapter preferably) * * * Author: Jarrad Miller Our thoughts matter. Our physical health and mental well-being matter. Our friend choices matter. Our entertainment choices matter. How we spend our time matters. ...and guarding our hearts matters. If we cannot overcome an addiction, the obvious step is to get rid of anything that paves the way for running back to what we are in bondage to. It means being ruthless with our sins of choice and choosing, day by day, hour by hour, to fight them, to the death. Viewing pornography is selfishness at its highest. It is using other people for our own selfish gain, pleasure, fantasy, and gratification. It blinds us to the fact that we are watching other people engage in sexual acts and yet don't realize how odd and quite honestly, how pathetic this is. If we had a friend who told us they would watch their neighbors have sex each night because he or she could see in their bedroom window, our first response and thought would be, "You're a creep and a pervert! Do you realize what you just told me? That's weird and why would you even think you are entitled to see what goes on between other people in their sex life?" ...and yet we don't find it odd at all that this is precisely what we ourselves are doing each time we run back to the comfort and lure of porn. Using the excuse, "Well, if it was wrong to view, it would be equally wrong to make, and yet look at how many porn stars willingly give their bodies to others on film!" just won't cut it. Why? Because if others are engaging in something that is blatantly perverse or downright destructive (such as doing drugs, drinking every weekend, or sleeping with people they just met) and think it is okay because the other person was willing or because "my parents first introduced me to pot or alcohol", this doesn't mean such behavior and action can be justified. Would you rather be married and have sex often with your spouse OR watch an array of erotic films to your taste and to your heart's content behind a smartphone, TV, or computer screen while you masturbate to it? Seems silly doesn't it, how often we choose to feed our addictions and not cut off all ties with them and in so doing, choose to satisfy our sinful flesh instead of preparing to be in a relationship which leads to marriage and can be filled with sexual acts with another person (not just our hand and fantasy as we view other people engaging in sex). What is your excuse for not giving up pornography? What makes you think you can't live without it? Originally posted on http://www.babypinkroses.blogspot.com About the Author :Emma Joy has passion for helping others overcome sexual sin. Her blog ( http://www.babypinkroses.blogspot.com ) is a place for her to post articles, sermon notes, and original articles on a variety of topics including sexual sin, purity, and trials & hardship. |
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