• It doesn’t represent reality or healthy relationships. It’s often filled with domination and aggression, whereas real-life sex is about the sharing and (hopefully!) love. Porn sex never addresses birth control, STD prevention, relationship issues, or emotions, which are all vital in real-life sex. Instead it features strangers “hooking up”. Pornographic images are always airbrushed; they’re not what actual people look like. Help your child become media-literate by pointing out that nearly all images of people are altered.
• Curiosity about sex is normal. Your children should know that it’s okay to talk to you about pornography and should feel comfortable coming to you with questions, and that you are their best source for information, not friends or the internet. If your child has seen pornographic images, ask how it made them feel. Explain that these images are meant for adults, not children. Use educational resources (like anatomy books for children, safe websites or articles like this) to answer questions and satisfy curiosity. Never make your child feel ashamed for being curious.
• It’s addictive. “It…lodges itself into your mind, like a parasite sucking away the rest of your life,” explained 16-year-old Malcolm in a 2007 study and who reported spending three to four hours each day on pornography. As with any other drug, addicts become obsessed with getting their next fix. In a statement before Congress, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and physicist, warned about the effects of pornography: “It is as though we have devised a form of heroin 100 times more powerful than before, usable in the privacy of one’s own home and injected directly to the brain through the eyes.” This addiction can begin with just one look, but it doesn’t have to. Address the issue and figure out the best way for your family to handle it.